


California Dreamin'

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Parent John Winchester, Big Brother Dean Winchester, Caring Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester's Parent, Gen, Light Angst, Pre-Canon, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:33:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25835032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sam is nineteen. He's an adult. He can do this.A.K.A My take on what happened just before Sam went to Stanford.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	California Dreamin'

**Author's Note:**

> So! I listened to California Dreamin by The Mamas and Papas and it gave me strong Sam vibes and uh. Here's the result! I do highly recommend you listen to the song while reading this, it's really good.  
> This is Sam-centric, I swear. I just. Like Dean too much.

_All the leaves are brown (All the leaves are brown)_

_And the sky is grey (And the sky is grey)_

It’s May. Sam is nineteen. He’s an adult. He can do this.

_I’ve been for a walk (I’ve been for a walk)_

_On a winter’s day (On a winter’s day)_

Standing outside of the motel room where he and his father (No, _John_ , he’s not your father anymore, you’re not his son, not if you do this) just had the biggest fight in Winchester history, Sam’s not sure if he can do this.

_I’d be safe and warm (I’d be safe and warm)_

_If I was in L. A. (If I was in L. A.)_

Palo Alto. Stanford. The letter sits, cold and heavy in the bottom of his duffle, stored safely away from John or whoever else might find it (Dean, don’t think about him, don’t think about how much this will tear you apart, _don’t-_ ). Sam knows how to get there. He’s known for weeks, known since he got the letter, since he’s been planning to leave. And now he’s doing it.

_California dreamin’ (California dreamin’)_

_On such a winter’s day_

Sam can still hear the slam of the door reverberating in his ears, can still feel the sting on his right cheek from where John’s open palm had connected. The mark (he assumes it left a mark, but that’s fine, Sam’s had plenty of marks before, they always go away) twinges a bit as Sam touches it gingerly. No amount of treatment is going to make that stop hurting, not anymore. Not mentally. Sam is sure it will fade.

_Stopped into a church_

_I passed along the way_

He draws in a deep breath and takes the first few steps towards the bus stop he knows is only a few miles away (Sam did his research, he always has. Always tried to be good at it, for his father, for Dean-). Sam doesn’t get very far.

_Well, I got down on my knees (Got down on my knees)_

_And I pretend to pray (I pretend to pray)_

There, against the side of the motel, is Dean. Sam can’t breathe. He knows Dean was there, he knows Dean heard everything John had yelled at him, everything Sam had yelled back, but here Dean was. Outside. Waiting. Knowing Sam wasn’t going to say goodbye. (Not inside, Sam wouldn’t have been able to do it inside. Dean knows this. Sam knows this. So Dean is outside. Waiting.)

_You know the preacher like the cold (Preacher like the cold)_

_He knows I’m gonna stay (Knows I’m gonna stay)_

Dean doesn’t look mad. He never has, not towards Sam. Dean just looks . . . tired. Neither brother moves (both too scared to break the quiet lasting in their final shared moment, but they both know the other would never admit to that), until Dean finally straightens up from leaning on the side of the old building.

_California dreamin’ (California dreamin)_

_On such a winter’s day_

“Need a ride?” An extension of peace. (Sam’s heart breaks a little, but he holds on, feeling the weight of the letter in his bag more than he should. Dean has always known, known everything better than Sam, how is he gonna do this without Dean-)

_All the leaves are brown (All the leaves are brown)_

_And the sky is grey (And the sky is grey)_

“Yeah.” Not worth walking three miles on his own when he can get a ride. (Not worth missing out on his last chance to ride in the Impala with his brother. Not a damn chance he’s missing that, and Dean _knows_ this-)

_I’ve been for a walk (I’ve been for a walk)_

_On a winter’s day (On a winter’s day)_

There are a few beats of silence before either one of them make a move towards the car. Dean goes first (Dean has never let Sammy go headfirst into danger, not before he checks it out first, it’s just how they’ve always worked-), and Sam follows, opening the door to the backseat before Dean gives him a look. It takes a few seconds before Sam slowly sets his bag down and moves up to the shotgun position.

_If I didn’t tell her (If I didn’t tell her)_

_I could leave today (I could leave today)_

“Palo Alto, right?” Sam looks up at Dean. Is he serious? He knows Dean, he knows his brother doesn’t do “chick flick moments”. This was just a ride to the bus stop, they’re hours away from California, there’s no way Dean would drive them for that long just to get Sam to Stanford. (Dean would drive Sam to the ends of the earth if Sam asked him to, they both know that.)

_California dreamin’ (California dreamin)_

_On such a winter’s day (California dreamin)_

Dean’s face is blank of emotion, waiting for Sam’s response. Sam doesn’t think he could respond if Dean had looked any way else.

_On such a winter’s day (California dreamin)_

_On such a winter’s day_

“Yeah. Palo Alto.” (Thank you, Dean. I love you.)

“No problem Sammy.” (I love you too.)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello? Yes? This is my first fic so uh. Be nice? Maybe? Please? Thank you!


End file.
